Enter Their World

Get down on the floor. That's the whole first step.

Most of the day, we're asking our kids to come into our world — our schedules, our words, our rules about what a spoon is for. Entering their world flips it: for a little while, you go to where they already are, and you stay there without trying to change anything.

What it looks like

Your child is lining up cars. You sit down nearby — close, not looming — and you line up a few cars too. Not better. Not "look, mine make a road!" Just alongside. Your child is spinning a lid. You find a lid and spin it. They're flipping through the same book for the hundredth time. You settle in next to them and look at the pages they look at.

That's it. No agenda hiding underneath.

The hard part: not directing

The urge to add something is enormous. To ask a question, sneak in a color name, tilt the play toward something that looks more productive. Every one of those moves — however loving — sends the same quiet message: what you're doing isn't quite right yet.

When you join without steering, the message flips: what you're doing is interesting. You are interesting. I want to be where you are. Kids feel that difference long before they can name it.

What to do instead of directing

• Copy what they're doing, a step behind them
• Say what you see, sparingly: "The blue one's next." Then quiet again.
• Let silences sit. Shared silence is still shared.
• If they hand you something, take it. If they take it back, let it go.
• If they move away, don't chase. Being available beats being close.

How you'll know it's working

Not on day one. But somewhere in the first week or two, most parents see a glance — the child checks where you are, or pauses so you can take your turn, or brings the game to you. That glance is the beginning of something you cannot get by asking for it.

Why it matters more for our kids

A child who spends hours a week being taught, prompted, and corrected — however kindly — needs at least one relationship where nothing is being fixed. You're the best candidate. Therapists rotate. You're the constant.

Start tonight

Ten minutes. Phone in another room. Sit down where they are and do what they do. If it feels awkward, you're doing it right — it gets less awkward, and then it becomes the part of the day you both wait for.